We Need a New Word for this Feeling

We Need a New Word for this Feeling.

Today is Thursday.  Monday was my daughter Emily’s due date.  She is expecting her second, a dearly-awaited daughter after an adored son born three years ago.

Except actually her due date was more like our Sunday, because- did I mention?  Emily lives on the other side of the Earth, in Bangkok, Thailand.

Jonah was born a bit early, prompted by a little too vigorous exercise (aikido throws, anyone?)- but that’s another story.  Suffice it to say, she is now more pregnant than she has ever been, and feeling ready.

Jonah was born in New York City and I live in Washington, D.C.  So when she went into labor for him, I wrote out a sub plan, my husband and I hit the road, my other daughter Beth took a bus a few hours later, and my son took the train the next morning.  One of my favorite photos in the world is of us all together with that so-new baby at our center.

Now, Beth is in Honduras.  She, son Joey, husband and I in D.C.– well, all we can do is check our phones and emails every five minutes.

I haven’t talked about worry.  I know while childbirth is normal and everything should be fine, I also know that childbirth is an extreme event and sometimes things happen.  I also know it is tough.  How do we feel when our child faces something so wonderful and also so dreadful?

Anxiety?  Concern?  Eagerness?  Expectation- that’s a good word, but not quite it…

We need a new word for this feeling.