Vespers, Parts III and IV

Vespers Part III

I am a bad singer.  I feel rhythm and cadence but can’t hear if I am on key or not.  There is no one in the pew in front of me.  I cast a glance to my side- no one behind me either.  Good.  I sing.

Da pacem cordium

(Give peace to every heart)

We sing it many times, varying tune and phrasing.

I close my eyes like a child who thinks if I can’t see, no one can see me.

 

Vespers Part IV

My favorite verse in the service tonight:

When the world is sick, can’t no one be well,

But I dreamt we was all beautiful and strong.

So many kinds of sickness, and the verse is filling my head with sorrows.  But the song is a slow and a strong one.  We sing it’s two lines and we start to get louder.  Louder and clearer.  Clearer and stronger.  We are snapping the “k” at the end of sick.  We are embracing the phrase “can’t no one be well.” We are giving emphasis to “dreamt” and enunciating the end “t.” We are lingering over the last word “strong.” We sing it so many times we are creating a kind of power in the sanctuary.  As this song winds down I realize I don’t want it to stop.

Alone in my little car driving home I will sing it again.  At first I am afraid I have forgotten the tune.  My voice is weak and uncertain.  I find the tune and I know I am right.  I find my breath.  I increase my volume.  I sing all the way home.  Me, who cannot sing.