Vespers Part I

I added a wide, warm scarf as I left the house Wednesday evening.  It was still cold in March and getting colder towards night.  As I drove down Wisconsin Avenue I saw a big flag being whipped fully stretched out by the wind, and it never fell back toward its pole.  I didn’t want to be out in that cold wind but I was going anyway.  A siren started a ways down the road behind me.  I kept track of the police cruiser in my rear view mirror.  It didn’t turn so I pulled over to the right to let it go by.  Instead it pulled in two cars behind me.  Was I being stopped? The car behind me being stopped?  Neither, it seemed to be stopping at the Psychiatric Institute, a residential facility.  As I went a block farther another police car passed me from the other direction , lights whirling, to the same destination.  Oh no, I thought, what poor soul is having such trouble there to draw that kind of assistance?

On Irving Street I found an easy parking spot and started the familiar walk to my church.  Alertly I crossed the many intersections, sometimes waiting patiently for the walk sign, sometimes jaywalking carefully.  I saw the tall steeple , sharp against the deepening dark blue sky.  The clock face in the steeple was a warm lit yellow-white with its dignified roman numerals. The wide stone stairs to the church were flanked by lanterns with flickering warm lights from candles.  Battery-lit, I knew, but nevertheless inviting the visitor in.

As I entered, the wind wanted to take the heavy door from me and I smiled at the greeter as I used both hands to determinedly pull it closed behind me.  I didn’t want any sound, as I knew the next room would be the quiet sanctuary.  It was quiet, though in the low light I could see many people were there.  Softly I made my way up the aisle, looking for that space that would feel comfortable.  I settled into a short left-side pew, empty but for me.

I could see the back of the chorus director at the piano bench.  I could see a sliver of the guitarist behind a pillar.  I kept my coat on for a little bit.  I settled my two feet flat on the floor and I uncurled my hands and placed them softly palm down on my thighs.  And I took a deep breath.  And another.

To be continued.